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Good morning, Fearless readers:
Happy almost-July! Summer is in full swing. Speaking of which, I'm filling in on producing this newsletter for Macey Shofroth because she was away last week volunteering at Camp Hertko Hollow, which is dedicated to helping make a difference in the lives of kids with Type 1 Diabetes. She attended the camp as a kid and has enjoyed paying it forward as an adult.
In this week’s Fearless e-newsletter, you will find:
- A story from our gender issues survey about the division of household labor for those who live with a partner.
- A story from Iowa PBS's “Iowa Life” on escaramuza, a beloved Mexican tradition.
- In the headlines: Iowa astronaut Peggy Whitson returned to space on June 25.
- A break from the news: Patty Sneddon-Kisting shared about her recent experience having to quit mid-race while attempting an Ironman 70.3.
- Also, if you missed last week's Fearless Focus discussion on women's health care in Iowa, you can find the recording on our website.
Lots more!
— Emily Barske Wood, Business Record special projects editor
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Fearless audience members share how they divide household responsibilities with partners
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COMPILED BY MACEY SHOFROTH and EMILY BARSKE WOOD
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In our Fearless annual survey, respondents who live with a partner shared how they divide household duties. Getty Images.
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This coverage is from the Business Record’s annual survey on women’s and gender issues as part of our Fearless initiative. While nonscientific, we believe the results of this questionnaire illustrate current opinions about Iowa women’s equity in and outside of work. Read previous coverage here.
We asked: If you live with a partner, who does the majority of the work in your house? How do you split up responsibilities?
“If one cooks, the other cleans. One takes children to appointments, the other takes animals to vet appointments. The work is shared.”
“I prefer doing the physical work such as laundry, cleaning, mowing and shoveling, and household repairs. I do not cook, so that is my spouse’s responsibility along with grocery shopping and running errands. He doesn’t mind doing those things and thankfully so, because those are tasks that I have no desire to do and likewise for him with the tasks I have accepted responsibility for.”
“We do not split up the work by gender, we both do what we can when we can.”
“Both of us work, but she works part-time. We split most household chores 50-50; however, she takes care of the kids (ages 4 and 1) disproportionally more than I do.”
“50-50 split.”
“It’s more 50-50 as he is recently retired. Until then it was 70-30. I still do the majority of the household chores.”
“I do. While my husband does take the lead on doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms (he works from home and has more availability that way), it is up to me to do most of the grocery shopping, making sure kids' needs are met, making sure any and all communication with their schools takes place, making sure bills are paid, etc.”
“We are equitable with physical labor, but I still handle much of the mental, emotional and familial labor despite my constant efforts to offload.”
“It is pretty equally split with no clear split between traditional gender roles. We both typically will mow the lawn, empty dishwasher, cook, clean, etc., if we know it needs to get done. I’m pregnant right now and therefore frequently very tired, so my husband has stepped up and actually taken on more than me.”
“He thinks we split things evenly. He is dead wrong.”
“My wife probably does more than 50% of the work, as she does laundry, meal prep and dishes. I do the tasks she does not want to do, vacuuming, dusting, repairs, tax returns, finances.”
“We split household responsibilities. I am the breadwinner in our household, so I don’t do any of our cooking, laundry or grocery shopping, but I do most of the cleaning, although often we’ll split that up. I do most of the household decorating and hosting and we split up caring for kids and dogs. However, I still take on the mental load of doctor appointments, school sign-up, trip planning, packing for vacations, etc. This is something that isn’t talked about – men typically see household responsibilities as tangible things – mowing the yard, housework, etc.; what’s often not talked about is the invisible mental load that women take on. I have two sons and I often talk to them about not weaponizing their incompetence about not knowing how to do something and not doing it simply because they don’t know how to. Women don’t know how to do a lot of things but we have just figured it out by trial and error because someone has to. And because of this, we end up carrying a lot of the mental load for the household.”
“Division of work is very flexible. We have preferred tasks, or tasks that our partner loathes. We float between these tasks as we have capacity, like it or not.”
“I generally perceive our split of the work in our house as fairly equitable. There are times I feel like I’m doing more, and times when I feel like my wife is doing more. However, I am also aware of research showing that men tend to think they’re doing a larger proportion of the household work than they actually are, so I am sensitive to the possibility that my perceptions are not correct. Much of how we split responsibilities is that we each do the chores that the other one hates the most. One point of occasional friction is that there are things that really bother me when they’re dirty/cluttered/etc. that my wife doesn’t seem to notice, and the opposite is also true; there are things that bother her that I don’t really notice.”
“My husband and I split ‘chore’ responsibilities within our household, although as is typical in hetero households, I am the primary caregiver. This means that I am day care pickup/drop-off 90% of the time, I cook 75% of our meals, I schedule all appointments, and I handle household finances such as our mortgage and utilities. My husband’s work schedule dictates day care and mealtime responsibilities.”
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How one woman is honoring her heritage by showcasing her country’s sport to Iowans
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FROM “IOWA LIFE” ON IOWA PBS
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Photo courtesy of Iowa Life.
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With its elaborate choreographed routines, beautiful dresses and rich history, the sport of escaramuza is a beloved Mexican tradition.
Escaramuza is the only event for women within the Charreria, or Mexican rodeo. It consists of a team of women who perform maneuvers around a circular arena while riding sidesaddle. Teams are judged on everything from synchronization and execution to symmetry and presentation.
Alejandra Piña founded Escaramuza Quetzalli in 2022 as a way to connect with her family’s Mexican heritage and pastimes, and share her passion with other Iowans.
The Pleasant Hill-based team frequently performs at charreadas around the state, and has also sent several members to compete internationally.
Assistant coach Anna Garcia believes the sport teaches valuable life lessons.
“[Escaramuza] demands perfection. And I think it pushes the girls to strive for that perfection. And in doing so, they truly do become better versions of themselves and be able to have applicable skills that serve them well in life and as horsewomen and in any career they want to do.”
Piña says the sport has put her in uncomfortable positions, but it has built her confidence.
“We bring the elegance, the simplicity, the beauty of the sport to the arena,” Piña said. “We are as fierce as the Charros are. … We can do anything the men can do, but we do it sidesaddle with one leg.”
“Iowa Life” is an Iowa PBS production that seeks to uncover the diverse tapestry of Iowa’s people, cultures and stories. Through compelling interviews, scenic visuals and authentic storytelling, each episode explores the extraordinary lives of individuals who call Iowa home. Watch episodes Tuesdays at 6:30 p.m. or anytime on the Iowa PBS website or PBS app.
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“LEADERSHIP IS ABOUT MAKING OTHERS BETTER AS A RESULT OF YOUR PRESENCE AND MAKING SURE THAT IMPACT LASTS IN YOUR ABSENCE.”
SHERYL SANDBERG
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New laws take effect on July 1. Several new Iowa laws go into effect on July 1, the Des Moines Register reports, including:
- Gender identity protections being removed from the Iowa Civil Rights Act.
- Sweeping new restrictions on public entities' diversity, equity and inclusion efforts.
- Paid parental leave for state employees.
- Changes to Medicaid to no longer cover gender-affirming surgeries or hormone therapies.
Whitson returns to space. Iowa astronaut Peggy Whitson returned to space on June 25 as Axiom Mission 4 launched from Launch Complex 39A at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida, the Cedar Rapids Gazette reported. The four-person crew from the United States, India, Poland and Hungary is on a 14-day planned mission in which they will conduct about 60 different research activities from 31 different countries. “This mission shows that space exploration is no longer limited to a few nations — it’s a shared effort that reflects the best of what we can achieve together,” said Whitson, from Beaconsfield, Iowa, in a pre-flight statement.
Iowa Veterans Home library offers large inventory to residents and staff. Iowa Veterans Home library technician Catherine Noble is passionate about her career as a librarian, she told the Marshalltown Times-Republican. She is also passionate about serving the residents and staff at IVH. Noble said that the Peterson Library has an inventory of 5,000 items available for resident and staff use – ranging from five desktop computers to standard to large-print books to recently-released DVDs to current magazines and newspapers.
Iowa native fulfilling a dream, singing the national anthem at an Indiana Fever game. When she got the call of a lifetime, Megan Besler nearly didn’t answer. A year ago, Besler, a native of Hopkinton, Iowa, emailed representatives from the Indiana Fever, sending videos of her recent national anthem performances. “Just out of the odd chance, you know, ‘Do you guys want a Hawkeye to sing?’ I’m a Hawkeye, a Fever fan, a Caitlin [Clark] fan,” Besler told KCRG. “They called me out of the blue, I saw the number and I didn’t answer it, but it occurred to me that it said ‘Indiana.’ After making the connection, Besler sang at the June 26 game.
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Paying more for child care than your mortgage? You’re not alone (the 19th News). ‘Less Burnout, More Babies’: How Conservatives Are Winning Young Women (New York Times). 'We Do Not Care' Club addresses feelings of menopausal women (Today). The door to fight gender-affirming care bans isn’t closed, LGBTQ+ rights attorneys say (the 19th News). Malala turns her fight for equality to women in sports (CNN).
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BY PATTY SNEDDON-KISTING, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, URBANDALE FOOD PANTRY
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Editor's note: Sneddon-Kisting recently shared the following on her LinkedIn and we are republishing with her permission.
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I recently attempted my third Ironman 70.3.
I trained. I prepared. I visualized the finish line.
But on race day? It just wasn’t my day. A torn wetsuit, water intake before the swim was halfway through, a heart rate that wouldn’t settle, I made the call to step out. I didn’t finish. A big DNF [did not finish] next to my name.
I posted about it on Instagram, and the response was overwhelming. Because whether it’s sports or work or life, we don’t talk about these moments enough.
The truth is, we all hit moments when we don’t perform how we hoped. We miss the mark. We pivot. We fail forward.
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In work, just like in training, transparency about the hard stuff matters. Not finishing the race didn’t erase the months of effort, the early mornings or the progress. It reminded me that grit isn’t just about pushing through, it’s also knowing when to pause, reassess and cheer others on.
As leaders, teammates and humans, we need to make space for those moments. To model resilience, not perfection. To own the challenges out loud. That’s how we build strong, honest cultures. That’s how we grow.
There will be more races, and there will be more opportunities. But it's important to reflect on the power of transparency and how the “DNFs” of our careers can shape us just as much as the finish lines.
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At its core, Fearless exists to help empower Iowa women to succeed in work and life. We believe that everyone has a story to share and that we cannot progress as a society unless we know about one another. We share stories through featuring women in our reporting, featuring guest contributions and speakers at our events.
We are always looking for new stories to share and people to feature. Get in touch with us!
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