|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Good morning, Fearless readers:
I hope you are doing well. Did you know that August is National Breastfeeding Month? This can be a painful topic for many women. I haven’t written about breastfeeding extensively in this space.
This week, I have an essay about my extended breastfeeding journey and the judgment that women face over feeding choices. I overcame a postpartum DVT and other significant challenges to nurse my daughter for six years.
It is not something I have been able to write about previously. I’m sharing it with you today with the hope it will help someone.
In this week’s Fearless e-newsletter, you will also find:
- A new question from the Business Record’s annual survey on women’s and gender issues: How do you define success? What does success look like for you?
- In the headlines: As Iowa’s maternity care deserts continue to grow, doctors say the state’s new abortion ban will only make matters worse.
- In case you missed it: Abi Reiland joined the REMAX Precision Urban Office, adding CRE services and helping the team advance the mission of empowering women.
- Lots more!
– Nicole Grundmeier, Business Record staff writer
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My breastfeeding story: I’m tired of parents having to hide the many ways they feed their children
|
|
|
After surviving a postpartum DVT, I nursed my daughter for 6 years because I wanted to do everything I could to ensure her health
|
|
|
|
BY NICOLE GRUNDMEIER, BUSINESS RECORD STAFF WRITER
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nicole Grundmeier and her newborn daughter are pictured in January 2016. The baby is yawning and has a nursing blister on her upper lip, which can be a sign of a problematic latch.
|
|
|
For years, I hid the fact that I was still breastfeeding.
As a young woman, I read so many brutal comments online from strangers who made quick judgments about women who shared their extended breastfeeding (also called full-term breastfeeding) journeys with the media.
The online commenters asserted a swath of beliefs: That these women were selfish, and that they were just breastfeeding "for themselves." These women were clearly doing it for attention. They were perverts. Why didn’t they just put that in a cup? Why couldn’t the kid just go to the fridge and get something to drink? That kid is going to be scarred for life. What if the kid remembers it?
So I hid it. I hid the fact that my daughter did not fully stop breastfeeding until she was halfway through kindergarten.
Too many women I know feel they have to hide certain aspects about how they feed their children – whether they’re giving a newborn formula or breastfeeding a preschooler or visiting a food bank. This fear and shame often spills over into the workplace, where women might be hesitant to communicate their needs with supervisors and co-workers.
The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action celebrated World Breastfeeding Week from Aug. 1-7, which was also celebrated as National WIC Breastfeeding Week by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. I figured August was the ideal time to finally share my breastfeeding story. But it’s not just a breastfeeding story – it’s a birth story, it’s a parenting story, it’s a work story. They are impossible to separate.
I’m telling you this (admittedly long and detailed) story with the hope that a kernel of it might help you or someone you know. I’m tired of seeing women have to hide the many ways they feed their children.
I assure you, this is not bragging. I do not want to pressure other parents into a similar journey. My goal is to help erase the stigma surrounding all the choices parents make in nourishing their children.
I’m a big believer that parents know what is the best fit for their families. Infant feeding choices are intensely personal and sometimes painful. I know parents who chose not to breastfeed because they experienced a postpartum mood disorder, because they are sexual abuse survivors, because they had a radical mastectomy during breast cancer, because they had insufficient breast tissue/a low milk supply, because their premature baby never learned to properly latch, because they adopted a child, because they didn’t feel comfortable nursing, because their work/job was not compatible with pumping, because they didn’t want to – and so many other reasons. All parents should be supported in their feeding journeys, whatever that journey looks like.
This was my choice and my journey.
My breastfeeding goals
I did not set out to breastfeed a child for six years. I would have cringed at that idea. Oh, hell no! My original goal was two years – during pregnancy, I learned that the World Health Organization recommends that new parents breastfeed exclusively for the first six months of a child’s life, and then breastfeed alongside other foods for a minimum of two years. That seemed an unimaginably long time to share my body. It would require me to alter my own medications for a long time. (Not all of them were compatible with pregnancy or with breastfeeding.)
I wasn’t sure I could breastfeed at all, let alone two years. But that was my goal. I contacted a lactation consultant while still pregnant. I was going to do this. I wanted to breastfeed to give my daughter the healthiest start possible. I had dealt with some significant health struggles as a child, as a teenager and as an adult – particularly, two autoimmune diseases. I was hopeful that breastfeeding could help my child be as healthy as possible and hopefully not develop the same autoimmune conditions.
An early work experience put me on the road to breastfeeding success. When I was 22, I was a copy desk intern at the Des Moines Register. One of my supervisors, Jill, had given birth to a daughter in December 2003. We worked unusual hours on the copy desk – a typical workday for us was 4:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. Between putting out the state edition and our "gold" Central Iowa edition, we had a lunch break. Every day, dutifully, Jill’s husband brought their baby daughter to breastfeed in an empty office.
We loved having a baby in the office – Jill’s husband sometimes had trouble pulling the smiley infant away from one particularly baby-crazy copy editor. The baby was a big boost to morale. The war on terrorism dominated headlines, and we frequently edited lots of wire copy about death and destruction. The baby lightened the mood. It was the first time I ever truly thought about breastfeeding or realized that was something I definitely wanted to do someday. And I knew that I could do it as a working mother because I had seen Jill do it.
An easy pregnancy and a failed birth plan
I was also committed to a completely natural birth, because I believed a natural birth could help facilitate breastfeeding. I hired a doula and a team of Certified Nurse Midwives, also known as CNMs. I had an unlimited prenatal yoga pass. My husband and I took a Bradley method birth class. We did all the "right" things.
I was in labor for more than 36 hours and never dilated past 6 centimeters.
My daughter was born via cesarean section, angry and pink and wide-eyed. Seemingly all the medical students at Broadlawns Medical Center gathered around to see the true knot in her umbilical cord. Thankfully, she aced the Apgar test. Someone put her on my chest. She latched onto my nose while I was still on the operating table. This was a good sign.
My daughter went home from the hospital on Dec. 31, 2015 – she was our New Year’s baby, and I couldn’t believe I could love another human so much. My daughter became my "why." After her birth, every decision I made going forward was with her health, happiness and well-being first in my mind. That has never changed. That is my approach to my life.
I felt that my body and I had failed her during birth. I would not fail her during breastfeeding.
I didn’t know that I’d get multiple invitations to give up in the first month of her life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What does ‘success’ mean?
|
|
|
|
COMPILED BY EMILY BARSKE WOOD, BUSINESS RECORD SPECIAL PROJECTS EDITOR
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This coverage is from the Business Record’s annual survey on women’s and gender issues as part of our Fearless initiative. While nonscientific, we believe the results of this questionnaire illustrate current opinions about Iowa women’s equity in and outside of work. Read previous coverage here.
We asked those taking our gender issues survey a variety of questions about women’s equity.
We asked: How do you define success? What does success look like for you?
Comments from respondents who identify as women or nonbinary:
"As a baby boomer, I worked extremely hard to advance. I was relatively successful in doing that, making it to a VP role. My most valued possession currently is a strong and happy marriage. Balance is key for any marriage in today’s environment."
"Leading a full life where you are able lead a professional career while also having the time and resources to enjoy family and time outside of work."
"Success is achieving what you strive to achieve. For me, success looks like being financially independent, in harmony with my body and mind, and furthering my writing career."
"Making a difference in someone’s life and giving people a hand up. Personal success for me is raising a human who is a compassionate, productive member of society."
"Success for me is being true to myself and becoming the person God intended me to be."
"Freedom. Financial freedom, of course. But also the freedom to work from home, to take time off to be with my children. Money does make the world go around, and with it comes the other freedoms of doing what you need to do to be happy."
"Success is feeling joyful each day."
"To have a career you enjoy with colleagues that work well together. To earn a comfortable income so your basic needs are covered, a savings established for future goals, or any emergency expense. To feel secure and content with your life."
"Success is being happy with where you’re at home and work. It is also being respected."
"Success is defined as achieving a set of specific milestones or goals that one aspires to achieve. The goals then change, which means success is fluid – like water, it expands to fill its own container."
Comments from respondents who identify as men:
"Success is not what TV, social media and others tell you what you need to be or have. When you are genuinely thankful for who you are, what you have and what you can do, only then are you on the right path to success."
"I thought growing up, being educated and having a career in my hometown meant success. I was wrong."
"Decent work-life balance and enough income to very comfortably retire before 60."
"Achieving your goals."
"Faith, family, work. If you can keep those three things in balance, your life will be a success."
"Happiness. What that means is defined by everyone individually. For me, it is flexibility to prioritize family."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO SET REALLY HIGH GOALS. SET GOALS THAT, WHEN YOU SET THEM, YOU THINK THEY’RE IMPOSSIBLE. BUT THEN EVERY DAY, YOU CAN WORK TOWARDS THEM, AND ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, SO KEEP WORKING HARD AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS."
KATIE LEDECKY
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As Iowa’s maternity care deserts continue to grow, doctors say the state’s new abortion ban will only make matters worse: Health care leaders are sounding the alarm that the constraints placed on them by the new abortion law could drive maternity care providers out of state and deter new ones from coming in, at a time when Iowa desperately needs them, according to this story from CNN. Iowa has the lowest per capita ratio of OB-GYN providers to Medicare beneficiaries in the nation, according to a 2022 study published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
2024 FemCity Des Moines Beyond Business Conference to be held Sept. 19:
The FemCity Des Moines Beyond Business Conference, a professional networking conference for women and gender non-conforming people, will be held Sept. 19 at the Rewind Hotel in West Des Moines. The conference will feature keynote speakers Angela Jackson and Rachelle Keck, among others.
Ex-Iowa Hawkeye Brittany Brown wins bronze medal in women’s 200m at 2024 Olympics: Former Iowa Hawkeye sprinter Brittany Brown is an Olympic medalist. With a time of 22.20 seconds in the women's 200-meter final, Brown placed third to earn a bronze medal at the 2024 Olympics in Paris. She is the first woman from Iowa’s program to earn an individual Olympic medal in track and field, according to this story from the Des Moines Register/HawkCentral.
Dowling Catholic alum Karissa Schweizer finishes 10th in 5,000 at Paris Olympics: Dowling Catholic alum Karissa Schweizer became the fastest American woman ever in the 5,000-meter track and field event at the Olympics in Paris. Schweizer, a native of Urbandale, finished in 10th place at Stade de France in 14 minutes, 45.57 seconds. Schweizer improved one position and just over 10 seconds from her performance at the Tokyo Games in 2021, according to this story from the Des Moines Register.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
‘We feel stuck’: Child care needs limit women’s work force gains (New York Times). Teen girls are spending big. She tells them what to buy. (Wall Street Journal). I gave up my job at nearly 40. Why women my age are quitting. (The Times). Why are so many Americans choosing to not have children? (New York Times). Research reveals the unequal cognitive effort of household chores is harming women’s mental health (Fast Company). What’s behind the explosion of apprenticeships in early childhood education? (The 19th).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Abi Reiland joins REMAX Precision Urban Office, adding CRE services, helping team advance mission of empowering women
|
|
|
|
BY MICHAEL CRUMB, BUSINESS RECORD SENIOR STAFF WRITER
|
|
|
|
|
|
Abi Reiland. Submitted photo.
|
|
|
Abi Reiland has joined the Sara Hopkins Real Estate Team with REMAX Precision Urban Office as president of commercial real estate as Hopkins and her team add the commercial sector to the services they offer.
Reiland, who also is owner and director of CrossFit 8035 businesses in the metro, recently joined Hopkins’ all-female team after spending four years with brokerage firm JLL.
Hopkins said the addition of Reiland also helps her team advance its mission of empowering women in the real estate sector.
While she has worked with clients looking to buy a building, Hopkins said she doesn’t have experience with commercial leases and other aspects of commercial real estate. Read more
Sign up for the Business Record's weekly Commercial Real Estate Weekly e-newsletter.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
At its core, Fearless exists to help empower Iowa women to succeed in work and life. We believe that everyone has a story to share and that we cannot progress as a society unless we know about one another. We share stories through featuring women in our reporting, featuring guest contributions and speakers at our events.
We are always looking for new stories to share and people to feature. Get in touch with us!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Like this newsletter? Please forward to a friend!
Did someone share this newsletter with you? Sign up here.
|
|
|
|
|
